CJ defiantly took a step up his ladder. 'Now see, dwarves and bog unicorns have a symbiotic relationship going back to the dawn of time, we do ...' he glared at Daisy.
'Really ..?' Mr Tweedy chewed the end of his pipe. 'How ... fascinating.'
'Aye,' CJ folded his arms. 'It's like the Masai and their cattle. We take just enough blood to cure all our ills, and in exchange we keep them safe, give them all the food they need. The fact we are eternally beautiful ... well that's just a bonus.' He tossed his head of luxuriant blonde curls.
'Is it true they eat only Northumbrian moss?' the man asked, smoothing his ginger beard.
'Precisely,' CJ waved a perfectly smooth little index finger at him. 'That's why Gideon Stone bought half the county. They're safe there in a secret location known only to our dwarf princes ...'
'Moss my arse,' Bill snarled from the floor where Joe still had him in a headlock. 'Takes too fricking long to pick the stuff. Let the unicorns starve. Much quicker to kill dwarves ...' Joe tightened his grip, Bill's legs writhing in the sawdust.
'No, let the dwarf speak,' Mr Tweedy, slowly placed his pipe on the counter. 'So, where precisely are these unicorns?'
'Now why would I be telling you that ...?' CJ began to say, as the man ran his hands through his ginger hair.
'Because if you don't, the life of every dwarf man, cat and hamster in this godforsaken town is mine ...' he hissed as he ripped away his latex mask.
'Monsieur!' Bill gasped ...