Monday, December 29, 2008

"Bill picked up the gun, you see," Daisy said, slanting her eyes back and forth, conspiratorily, and then he pointed it at Randy and he just fell down!" She said it like alittle girl telling secrets at a sleep over.

But her identical twin Kitten, dressed in abbreviated black leather, instead of Kitten's white lace and feathers, smacked her on the back of the head with her tiny clutch purse.

"Wot!" Daisy cried.

"You great ninny!"Kitten growled. "Bill didn't just fall down! That bloomin beefsteak boy Joe tackled him. I never thought he had it in him, what with how scrawny he'd been in high school, but he brought his big old drunk daddy down to the floor and whipped that gun away from him." Kitten chewed on her black painted acrylic tips, looking at Swotsy thoughtfully. "It's almost as if someone's been giving him a magic potion that made him so big and hunky and gorgeous--" Kitten gasped as her eyes went wide. Kitten was not nearly as good at maintaining a poker face as Detective Inspector Swotsy Smith-Jones, but then, that was why Swotsy was a detective inspector, and Kitten just wiggled her miniature ass in front of horny dwarf lovers.

Swotsy glared at Kitten as the officers around her continued to examine the crime scene. "So how did Randy get shot?"

"Well, I'm not sure," Kitten said, looking down at the floor.

"I told you I knew!" Daisy jumped in, practically wiggling in joy as Swotsy's attention swerved back to her. "Y'see, they were fighting and knocking each other about, and Joe gets the gun--"

"And Joe yells, 'we keep him alive to answer for his sins!'" Kitten yelled, getting another glare from Daisy. "I remember."

"So who pulled the trigger?"

The dwarf twins exchanged looks and shrugged. "Don't know," they said in unison.

Just then, Assistant D.I. Manders came barreling in the door. Swotsy looked at him, thinking, well, he definitely has had no magic potion.

"Detective Smith Jones," he said. "We found CJ Burke. He's not dead."

"What?" Swotsy asked, sitting up straight. The entire bar, witnesses all and mostly dwarves, leaned forward in attention.

"CJ's not dead ma'am, he's

3 comments:

JES said...

Bet you had fun writing this segment, Rowena. :) "Bloomin beefsteak boy" -- "horny dwarf lovers"! The observation that Manders "definitely has had no magic potion" cracked me up!

scarlet-blue said...

Yes, I enjoyed this too... so CJ isn't dead yet...
Sx

Rowena said...

JES, I did enjoy this. Those twins are quite the characters. Lots of room for invention and fun. I don't "think" they're vital to the plot... not that we haven't tossed the ridiculous into the center of this story. But they're fun.

And no, I never intended CJ to die, even if I was the one that shot-- I mean, had Randy shoot him.

Yet, I suppose. He might still bite it.