Monday, December 8, 2008

Cat-a-tonic


. . . of, well, in a sense, because of her jealousness. And infamous curiosity. How does that old saying go? ‘Curiosity killed the cat.’ Yes, and it continues, ‘But satisfaction brought her back’. But there is little satisfaction to be found here, that’s for sure.
No-one knows the exact story, but it is thought to go something like this: May, ever envious of her gorgeous sister, discovered the recipe for the secret beauty potion in the notebooks. She immediately decided that she’d have to try it out for herself. Alice was gone; what's to stop her. After a trip to Marwell’s Groceries & Greens, a short stop at the Chemists, a larcenous stroll through the neighbours’ herb garden and an amphibian hunt in the backyard frog pond, she was ready. She filled the oversized blender that Alice kept parked under the sink with the diverse, and somewhat unsavoury, ingredients. As she turned on the blender, it swirled into action, eventually liquefying everything into an amorphous black sludge. ‘Yuck’, was all she could think. ‘I’m going to smear that shit all over my face? Not very likely.’ Just then the phone rang. She left the blender running. It was Alice – she was going to be a few days late in coming home. She and Joe were having such fun together. The sisters chatted for a bit; May was a tad lonely, what with just the cats to talk to. Little did she know that as they spoke, Shadrach, the jet black Abyssinian, was leaning precariously over the blender from the overhanging shelf, fascinated by the swirling black mess. The cat became dizzy and slipped. And then Shadrach was falling, and then she, too, was part of the churning mess. It all happened so fast that she hadn’t even managed to squeeze out a solitary meow.
May came back from the phone conversation, more determined now than ever to smear the horrid stuff on her face. Alice had ended up blathering about how all the lads had been turning their heads wherever she and little Joe went. Since May was alone, she could have it on for the entire time Alice was gone, day and night. She'd just close the curtains. And then she’d surprise her at the door, ten times more beautiful than big Sis ever had been. In fact, she wouldn’t look at herself in the mirror the entire time, either. What fun! She’d surprise them both!

5 comments:

Rowena said...

Love the art.

Kate Lord Brown said...

Flying cats - fabulous. The one that didn't land on her paws ...

JES said...

Oooh. Artwork highly reminiscent of some of Gorey's stuff. (And now that I think about it, that the cat is headed for blenderdom is highly reminiscent of his sensibility, too!)

"Shadrach." Great name. All of a sudden I want a cat named Shadrach.

Son of Incogneato said...

I had a cat named Shadrach when I was a kid. My mom named her that because she was coal black – apparently there is a biblical figure named Shadrach who got tossed in a super hot oven for some reason or other – ergo he would have been rather black after that. That’s my mom the Sunday school teacher in action.
This typically exemplifies how I often nab things (names, incidents, descriptions, etc.) from my own life when I write – these things are close at hand, have the depth of reality and also mean something to me. I figure everybody does this. Or?
Otherwise, many thanks for the Gorey reference.

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