bring them in with us on our little secret. No pun intended."
Swotsy pointed at a spot where the snow was particularly disturbed. "I'm not so sure about that, Vi. Look here. What's that you see?"
Violet leaned closer. She couldn't quite see... As she reached out to brush some of the loose snow aside, Swotsy batted her hand away. "But I was just trying t0---"
"I know what you were trying to do. But this is a crime scene now. Look, sweetheart. Look. You don't need to see anymore than that little bit sticking up there... the two crossed hands..."
Violet clapped a hand to her forehead. "Sister Margaret's key! And is that...?"
"Yes. Blood all right."
"Randy's or CJ's?"
Swotsy leveled a squirrely gaze at Violet. "Might as well ask is it yours or mine or Sister Margaret's for that matter. How the hell should I know whose it is? Red, isn't it?" She sat back on her heels, and sighed deeply. (Violet loved Swotsy's sighs. The deeper the better.) "Now I'll have to get hold of Manders and that lot, and we'll have the bulls traipsing all over the garden here. It appears, love, that we shall have to seek out a new trysting spot."
A crash from around the side of the B&B brought the conversation to a close.
Showing posts with label Dwarf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dwarf. Show all posts
Friday, December 12, 2008
"Listen," CJ said as he jumped up from the ground underneath the window, "they're coming. Get that great footballer lump you call an ass up and going. We've got to get out of here."
"What?" Randy said. Confused. He was always confused. He needed to talk to Violet. She would straighten everything out, he was sure.
"Don't question me!" CJ said. "We've got to go to my mother's, and we've got to go now! Move."
Randy was used to taking orders. He followed the little man, who was surprisingly fast and fleet on his feet.
They disappeared into the copse behind the Neptune.
Violet and Swotsy tumbled out into the garden behind the B&B.
"He's gone!" Violet said under her breath.
"They're gone, Vi." Swotsy-- it was so easy to forget she was a detective, what with her big feet and insecurities stemming from High School-- was examining tracks in the snow. "Randy, and a dwarf."
Violet swore. "The dwarves! Now we're going to have to
"What?" Randy said. Confused. He was always confused. He needed to talk to Violet. She would straighten everything out, he was sure.
"Don't question me!" CJ said. "We've got to go to my mother's, and we've got to go now! Move."
Randy was used to taking orders. He followed the little man, who was surprisingly fast and fleet on his feet.
They disappeared into the copse behind the Neptune.
Violet and Swotsy tumbled out into the garden behind the B&B.
"He's gone!" Violet said under her breath.
"They're gone, Vi." Swotsy-- it was so easy to forget she was a detective, what with her big feet and insecurities stemming from High School-- was examining tracks in the snow. "Randy, and a dwarf."
Violet swore. "The dwarves! Now we're going to have to
Swotsy and Violet
"Sister Margaret never changed, she never aged, she never looked anything less than perfect. And she still ran St. Mary's Of The Majestic Holy Lamb to this day...."
Randy could hear Violet and Swotsy talking loudly inside the house. He crept up to the window and could just make out Violet doing up the buttons on her blouse.
"...we've got to do this for Sister Margaret, we promised." Finished Violet.
"But... it would mean killing another dwarf...did, did you kill Clive Violet?"
"Oh for pity's sake, why does everyone keep asking me that. No. I didn't."
At this moment Randy slipped, he was shocked that Violet was so intimate with Swotsy. His whole world was blurring. Had Violet told Swotsy about him? Did Swotsy know his secrets?
"What was that? There's someone spying on us... again."
Violet peered out the window.
"Swots... it's Randy, he's hiding in a bush by the window. Have you got your gun?"
"Yes... but... I can't kill him Vi."
"Give the gun to me... he's got an ingredient that we need. Stop crying... remember this is for Sister Margaret."
Randy tried to get up, but he tripped over a dwarf... it was...
Randy could hear Violet and Swotsy talking loudly inside the house. He crept up to the window and could just make out Violet doing up the buttons on her blouse.
"...we've got to do this for Sister Margaret, we promised." Finished Violet.
"But... it would mean killing another dwarf...did, did you kill Clive Violet?"
"Oh for pity's sake, why does everyone keep asking me that. No. I didn't."
At this moment Randy slipped, he was shocked that Violet was so intimate with Swotsy. His whole world was blurring. Had Violet told Swotsy about him? Did Swotsy know his secrets?
"What was that? There's someone spying on us... again."
Violet peered out the window.
"Swots... it's Randy, he's hiding in a bush by the window. Have you got your gun?"
"Yes... but... I can't kill him Vi."
"Give the gun to me... he's got an ingredient that we need. Stop crying... remember this is for Sister Margaret."
Randy tried to get up, but he tripped over a dwarf... it was...
Monday, December 1, 2008
. . . Clive, the hunchback dwarf, who stood uneasily behind the bar balancing on his IKEA step ladder.
“Well”, Clive said, “you could start by saying hi to an old buddy.”
“Huh? Jesus, is that you, Clive? You’ve, you’ve grown – you’re full sized!”
Clive merely shook his head wearily. The things he had to put with.
“Ladder, Dude. I’m standing on a ladder.” He pulled out a bottle of St. Pauli Girl Special Dark, capped it and pushed it across the bar top. “If I remember correctly”, he said, winking. He leaned back a moment, almost toppling off the step ladder, but regained his balance with a graceful swipe and grab at a Heineken spigot. Bending over the bar he looked not unsympathetically into Joe’s eyes.
“From the looks of you, my friend, I’d say it’s time to bring out the heavy artillery”. With that he demounted his trusty ladder and began to rummage through his secret cabinet under the bar. “Here it is,” he mumbled to himself. Climbing up again, he slapped a dusty, 16-year-old Lagavulin single malt between them.
“This here? I bet myself that you’d be back. The others said no, he’s gone, but I said you’d be back. And I said to myself - when he comes through that door, we’re gonna do this baby. Like the old days.”
Joe took a long drag on his beer, and then took the filled glass that Clive handed to him. The whiskey sparkled with a wicked amber. He looked over at Violet and then demonstratively upended his glass. Turning to Clive, he said; “The last time I saw you, you were . . .
“Well”, Clive said, “you could start by saying hi to an old buddy.”
“Huh? Jesus, is that you, Clive? You’ve, you’ve grown – you’re full sized!”
Clive merely shook his head wearily. The things he had to put with.
“Ladder, Dude. I’m standing on a ladder.” He pulled out a bottle of St. Pauli Girl Special Dark, capped it and pushed it across the bar top. “If I remember correctly”, he said, winking. He leaned back a moment, almost toppling off the step ladder, but regained his balance with a graceful swipe and grab at a Heineken spigot. Bending over the bar he looked not unsympathetically into Joe’s eyes.
“From the looks of you, my friend, I’d say it’s time to bring out the heavy artillery”. With that he demounted his trusty ladder and began to rummage through his secret cabinet under the bar. “Here it is,” he mumbled to himself. Climbing up again, he slapped a dusty, 16-year-old Lagavulin single malt between them.
“This here? I bet myself that you’d be back. The others said no, he’s gone, but I said you’d be back. And I said to myself - when he comes through that door, we’re gonna do this baby. Like the old days.”
Joe took a long drag on his beer, and then took the filled glass that Clive handed to him. The whiskey sparkled with a wicked amber. He looked over at Violet and then demonstratively upended his glass. Turning to Clive, he said; “The last time I saw you, you were . . .
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